Well that was a surprise wasn’t it… A baby. A real life human baby.
I wanted to blog this journey and give people another approach to pregnancy and birth. I plan to blog about nutrition for pregnancy, supplements which can be helpful, all things hypnobirthing and home birthing (yep), emotions, books and how to have the most natural, healthy pregnancy (hopefully) you can have for both you and baby.
This is our story: We got married on September 2nd and went off on honeymoon and lived in a bubble of marital bliss for a few weeks. I began to get some warning signs (5 weeks late and horrendous sore boobs – sorry for the overshare but it is a pregnancy post) but I honestly thought it was fine – yes I am stupid and no I know nothing of pregnancy. I had changed my thyroid medication and I assumed my body was dealing with that and my metabolism had changed. Anyway I was down at London Clinic of Nutrition and I was in the middle of my first consult of the day and I felt such an overwhelming feeling of nausea and I thought, OK I am pregnant but I had to carry on and I finished the day feeling awful. I got the train back north and decided to take a test the following morning.
Positive. No questions asked it was a very very strong line. I called my sister in a mad panic (she’s 8 weeks pregnant ahead of me!)
We have decided to be very honest with this journey. This wasn’t part of the plan. Let me tell you friends, these things happen, any contraception is only 99% accurate.
I blame a few things, I’ve never been on the pill so my hormones are pretty balanced, I am healthy and I married a young fertile 22 year old and at the end of the day, we believe God has a plan for us.
I personally was very concerned with how my body would cope with Lyme. I was happy but very worried. Will I pass it on? Will I be able to maintain the pregnancy? How will my health be? Questions galore which nobody can answer. I felt very guilty. The irony is I had begun my own journey to become 100% well so that in maybe a few years I would be in tip top shape to carry a baby.
We had alot of anxiety, alot of worry, we had no idea how pregnant we were but when we saw that baby on the screen on the first scan it was unreal. A baby with a heart beat.
We just had our 20 week scan last week and it’s crazy, it has little arms and legs and fingers and toes and a heart beat and a spine. It’s unbelievable. We decided we didn’t want to know the gender, having a healthy baby is our only concern.
I have mentally struggled alot with the whole thing, which is tough because I feel in society this isn’t spoken about. I feel so overwhelmingly grateful to be pregnant but I don’t feel how everyone tells me I should. Not everyone has the excitement or the positive experience you dream of. But me being me I just threw myself into my diet and preparation for birth and the house. But I do think this needs to be spoken about more, there isn’t a ‘right way’ to feel about this. Mental health is a crazy business and as a newly wed couple we planned a very different next few years. Being selfish, enjoying each other and enjoying married life. We still will have adventures and we still will enjoy married life (I hope!) but we will have a little person with us, a little mini me (or mini Joe).
We are now 24 weeks pregnant and we are so happy to say we are now so thrilled, so happy and really looking forward to this next chapter. We have Hypnobirthing classes next month and we are slowly getting our nursery ready and I have started to wind down for work.
I am so lucky, I have not had any sickness (apart from that one day – weird), no headaches or huge fatigue. I’ve done very well really, as I say I have struggled more mentally. I had some really really black days and I would just cry and cry (let me know if you want a blog post on this it’s hard to know how much detail to go into).
I have a big bump now and a whole new wardrobe, Fudge is thinking I look weird and Joe is busy looking after his team members ready for our new member to arrive on 5th July. See you soon little one. Can’t wait to welcome you home.